Sunday, August 26, 2012

A Lousy Day

As my afternoon with the Pte. was winding down, I was getting quite frustated at the lack of time we get to spend together. This week I got to see him for less than 24 total hours. As of September 10th, I won't be able to see him for almost two months. This is the life of an Army Wife it seems.

So how do I manage to survive this type of marriage? Honestly, I haven't a clue. I'm really taking it day by day. What's getting me through this evening is focusing on the quality of time that we spend together vs. the quantity of time. To me this means:

- lots of hugs, kisses, and hand holding
- doing activities that require looking at and talking to each other (i.e. board games vs. renting a movie)
- getting down on the floor and playing with our daughter
- eye contact
- putting ourselves in situations where we have to be our own entertainment - not the computer/radio/tv, etc.

This is not the type of lifestyle we're used to. That being said, we're used to spending time together each and every day and that's a luxury we may not always have. To me, it is frustrating being left at home to tend to the baby, the dog, the house, the bills, etc. while he is off having fun at work with his friends. To him, it is frustrating not getting to be around for all the little things, missing us, and wishing he could be home with us instead. I think sometimes it is hard to see through your own frustrations in order to acknowledge how the other person feels...

Today was not a good day. Today was a yelling at each other in the yard, questioning if we should end the marriage kind of day. It's hard this love thing. I just hope that we never get to the point where our love is not enough. I feel quite selfish complaining about my life. I think that is why I've become quite quiet on the blog front since switching to an "Army Wife" blog from my previous "This Is Me" kind of blog. I don't want to bad mouth my husband's profession. I don't want to come off as petty for complaining about not seeing the Pte. for a week when some don't see their spouses for months. But this blog is about me and I am having a tough go of it right now. I need a place where I feel like it's safe to vent without being judged. Down the road this may no longer be it, but for now - it'll have to be....

- The Mrs.

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